same as it ever was (talking heads)

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Omnipresent Pop Culture Catchphrase Alert

You see a funny movie, watch a cool commercial, hear a song you really dig. This is more times than not, a good thing. See, the problem I'd like to talk about is today is when in one of these cool and funny moments from a movie, commercial, song, or TV show becomes a little too "cool" or popular. You know, when Budweiser comes out with a commercial with a bunch of friends talking to each other on the telephone, a new season of Chappelle's Show airs on comedy central, Little John makes a rap record, or Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn are in a movie. Some people often hear a funny catchphrase and feel the need to (unsolicited and loudly, mind you) inform people around them that they have heard this catchphrase by repeating it over and over and over again. I think many of the catchphrases that I will mention below were funny the first, second, hell even third times I heard them. But by the time my middle aged next door neighbor was screaming "Wazzzzzz Up?" at me while I was driving down the street, I wanted to shoot myself in the head. Below I am going to show some of the worst omnipresent catchphrases to ever hit American soil. I will then postulate some defensive mechanisms that we can put into place to try and stop jackasses from repeating these catchphrases. Finally I want to set up an alert system ranking the danger of these catchphrases as grow in power and momentum, the ranking system will be the same as for Hurricanes, the lowest a tropical storm ranging all the way up to a Catergory 5. Maybe this way we can spread the word and cut down catchphrase jackassery before it reaches category 3 stages, or, god help us, higher.

1. "Wazzzzzz Up?????" Budweiser dudes: This was a full blown category 5 catchphrase, and some stupid shit like this can never ever happen again. Sure I thought the COMMERCIAL was clever and funny the first five or so times I saw it. Near the middle peak to the drawn out end I wanted to kill bunnies and topple empires to put an end to this horrid catchphrase. Maybe early on I should have tried simply saying something like this to a "Wazzz Up" offender...
"Oh, "Wazzz Up?" (make sure to always do air quotes) Yeah, saw that commercial about eight times today, I've seen it eight times a day for about two or so months straight now. And I love to get drunk too, Bud, right on. See the problem I'm having is, that I've explained to you already that I've seen the commercial today, and now we're in a Biology lab and you're dissecting a Frog. You said "Wazzz Up?" to the Frog before you cut it but you said it loud enough for everyone to hear, and only two people laughed, maybe a month ago five people would have laughed, but now only two and I really think those people are slow, in a mental sort of way. If you say it again I'm going to kill you with your scalpel."

See I should have taken the more straight forward I'm going to kill you with your scalpel approach. Sadly I sat back and eventually had a major aneurysm due to this catchphrase, almost died.

2. "I'm Rick James Bitch" Dave Chappelle Show: The first time I saw the Rick James episode I thought to myself, "man cgpop that sure was funny, I wonder if anyone else caught that?" My queries were answered very quickly as I soon couldn't walk down the street without someone shouting, "I'm Rick James Bitch" a very scary prospect when considering that Rick James was a degenerate maniac in real life. I was hoping it wasn't Rick James yelling that loudly into my ear behind me because I may be kidnapped, and repeatedly burned with a crack pipe if so. Oh, wait, no it's not Rick James afterall it's the 187 fucking middle school and high school kids who hang out at the local movie theater at all hours of the day. I would rank this as a category 4 catchphrase catastrophe. I should have handled the situation more like this...
"Your name is Rick James? (answer would be no) and you don't look like Dave Chapelle because you're a white 13 year old. Hmmm, well I'm kinda tryin to watch the old movie here. I'm sure J-Lo will fall in love by the end of the film too but I'm all about seeing the crazy mishaps and awkward situations that pop up before she gets there (hypothetical situation here, didn't see any J-Lo films) maybe I'm more of a traditional cat than you fellows but I don't like ruining other people's movie going experiences by yelling out catchphrases that I've heard a million times. So in closing if it happens again none of you will make it out of this movie theater alive, and that's a promise."

See the strategy I employed here is that I called attention to the fact that they were not Rick James or Dave Chappelle. Then I also added in the killing them part, I can't stress this part enough. This goes for any Chappelle and Little Jon skits also, "What?" and "Yeah". The same basic techniques can be applied. Or you can employ a different technique, keep repeating the offending word to the offender this should get them to shut up.

Before I end this post I'd like to leave everyone with a catchphrase alert. The movie Wedding Crashers came out about two weeks ago. Funny movie, two Tropical storm size catchphrases already in motion.

1. "She's a stage 5 clinger": For this one I'm going to laugh so hard when someone says this that it will be obvious that I'm fake laughing and it will cause an awkward scene. I'll then say "oh man wedding crashers? yeah say it again" If they bite I'll laugh harder and longer this time. Hopefully they'll get the picture.

2. "Mom! Meatloaf!": This time I'll pretend like I don't know the source material then say, "What the fuck does that mean? Is your mom here? Meatloaf sucks! Oh, it's from a movie, that sounds gay, are you gay?" That should stop that quote. See we don't need to go into killing mode yet, these are only tropical storm level catchphrases.

This post was inspired by a funny post I read awhile ago. If you are quoting or know someone who quotes these movies, any of the techniques above can be applied accordingly. Thanks in advance for your time, and hopefully we can stop these catchphrases before they annoy the hell out of us.


Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

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Thursday, July 28, 2005 10:52:00 PM

Blogger cgpop said...

Great point, that was a full-blown cat 5 catchphrase with unfortunate staying power. Assholes still say that shit today.

Friday, July 29, 2005 11:56:00 AM

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005 3:58:00 PM

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005 3:59:00 PM

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