same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, August 08, 2005

Anatomy of a hip-hop video

This morning while I was eating my breakfast (A bowl of Kellogg's Smart Start. A pretty solid cereal really, even considering the fact that I don't think I'm in their whole target breakfast demographic. I say this because they used to have a picture of Courtney Thorne-Smith on the front of the cereal box. She had a very concerned look on her face and was trying to spread awareness for breast cancer, with the pink ribbons and all. Now she's gone though, and I'm happy but also a little perplexed as to why. Don't get me wrong, I think spreading breast cancer awareness is a good thing, but I'm wondering if this was just a special edition box ala Wheaties, or maybe, just maybe, Thorne-Smith is now pro-breast cancer? Weirder things have happened, just posing the question. I'm just glad my cereal box front doesn't have her anymore, she's Bjorkable, but I just feel less in the company of women about to enter into menopause. Sorry about this tangent.) I was watching some MTV and the new Bow Wow (he apparently dropped the lil') video featuring Omarion came on. The video for the song "let me hold you". I'm going to take you guys through the anatomy of this "brilliant", no "transcendent" video.

First off I got into it a little late, but house party alert, I guess Bow Wow's mom was out of town or something, I can see some serious noise complaints in the near future. Bow Wow's new hit "let me hold you" was pumping and the party was getting crunk. Now this whole time Bow Wow is dancing with this pretty little thing, he's whispering into her ear, handing her cups of liquor, and grinding his dick into her ass, and let me tell you guys she's eating it up, Bow Wow's brought his obvious A-game tonight.

Also at the party is Omarion, who happens to sing the hook on this particular song. If you haven't heard this song a sample lyric goes something like, "Ram-bam-mo-ma'am-shalamalama-no-ma'am-shimmy-shimmy-cocopop-shimmy-shimmy-rock-m i s s i s s i p p i-phalama-ma'ama-jamma-no-ma'am-rock-shimmy-rock-rama-bama-what you tryin to do?"Anyway Omarion grabs this bikini clad hottie and proceeds to jump into the pool! He's FULLY CLOTHED!!! What a wacky guy. I bet he totally just went with that, got an instinct and just said, "fuck it G, I'm a do this". Well let me tell you, it's just fantastic.

Oh man, it gets better. Jermaine Dupri(!) stops by. What a novel idea, let's have the guy who produced the song show up in the video. Now this is a totally cool and original idea to have JD show up at the house party, but things take a bit of a turn for the worse for Bow Wow and his lady friend. The first thing that goes wrong is that for a second, someone bumps into the turn-table and the song stops! Everyone is obviously pissed-off because at this point all crunkness that has been accumulated takes a slight, temporary dip. You know when you're at a club or gangster house party and it's crunk, right, but then sometimes it inexplicably gets slightly less crunk for a moment, totally sucks. Well this is what happens here. Luckily the DJ gets the turntable back on track and we're crunk again, but something happens after that.

Bow Wow, JD, and Omarion decide to kick it to the drive-way and dance there, I guess to hopefully avoid any more dj snafus. The thing about this is that they don't invite anyone else to dance out in the drive-way with them. This means Bow Wow's chick, bikini-clad pool girl, and everyone else at the party. These people obviously aren't famous enough to hang out in the drive-way. Well at the end of the video Bow Wow tries to talk to his girl, but she blows him off!!!
I mean it was pretty rude not to invite her to dance in the drive-way but he was only there probably about 10 minutes or so. Poor Bow Wow, he, and us, the viewers, are now crushed. How could such a great video end on such a sour note? Oh wait, there's a to be continued at the end, are you serious? How awesome is that! I can't wait for the sequel to this, I'm no prognosticator but I think Bow Wow is going after his video hoe, and I bet he gets her. Can't WAIT.


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Tuesday, February 06, 2007 4:30:00 PM

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