same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, September 12, 2005

Recently unemployed

INT. JONATHAN'S APARTMENT-NIGHT

The doorbell rings and JONATHAN answers it to find SVETLANA wearing a black sequined black cocktail dress. He is wearing an expensive Armani suit. He shakes his head in disgust when he sees SVETLANA.

JONATHAN
What are you wearing?
SVETLANA
I'm wearing my black dress.
JONATHAN
Don't you have something more, I don't know? Classy?
SVETLANA
I thought this would be OK.
JONATHAN
It's got fucking sequins on it!
Svettelana pushes him aside and walks in the apartment. She lights up a cigarette and sits down on the sofa.
JONATHAN
What the fuck are you doing?
SVETLANA
I'm smoking.
JONATHAN
Well get up! If we don't leave now we're going to be late.
Svettelana gets up and her and Jonathan walk out of the door.
INT. CAB- MINUTES LATER
JONATHAN and SVETLANA are sitting in the back of a cab. The plastic divider is closed so the cab driver cannot hear them.
JONATHAN
I'm not very happy with that dress.
SVETLANA
I heard you before.
JONATHAN
I mean it's fine if were looking to give someone a blowjob on the street, but I'm meeting clients.
SVETLANA
You're overreacting, and you're an asshole.
JONATHAN
(sighing)
Those are sequins, am I right?
SVETLANA
I don't know.
JONATHAN
Well, I know, and they are fucking sequins.
SVETLANA
So what if they are! Huh?
JONATHAN
I just hope the people at the bar don't think you're working a double or something, because I'm sure my clients will. What I'm trying to say is...I hope everyone in the place doesn't think you work there.
SVETLANA
You left instructions, I followed them. The dress is black? No?
JONATHAN
I said black and classy, not black and escort service.
SVETLANA
You get what you pay for.
JONATHAN
Obviously so. Next time I'll be more specific.
SVETLANA
So what, what are these clients of yours?
JONATHAN
Rich dirt balls. Important though, and rich. Did I say rich?
SVETLANA
They aren't going to be pinching my ass?
JONATHAN
(laughing)
How could they not? That dress absolutely screams pinch my ass. It'd probably be awkward if they didn't.
SVETLANA
If they pinch my ass that's extra for the tip, and don't get any bright ideas of me sleeping with these clients of yours, you don't have enough money for that to happen.
JONATHAN
Ummm...actually you're wrong. I do have ample funds, but don't worry about any of that. Just an exotic piece of eye-candy tonight. For them at least.
SVETLANA
You're so fucking smug all the time, with your suits and your Rolex.
JONATHAN
I work hard for this stuff, now could we maybe cut the chitchat? I don't know if I've ever told you this but your voice really starts to get on my nerves after extended periods of use.
SVETLANA
Such a big shot.
JONATHAN
Something like that. What happened to quiet time?
SVETLANA
Let me ask you this then big-shot. Why do you have to pay for sex?
JONATHAN
Listen up sweetheart, I don't have to pay for shit. I just prefer to.
SVETLANA
Why do you always ask for me then? Huh, big-shot? There are plenty of girls at the service, why always pick me?
JONATHAN
You're an animal in bed.
SVETLANA
This is true, but that's not why you pick me.
JONATHAN
Of course it's why I pick you, why the fuck else would I pick you?
SVETLANA
How about if I said no next time? If I refused to come with you?
JONATHAN
You can't refuse to that, they'll send you anyway.
SVETLANA
Maybe I quit, and you can never see me again?
JONATHAN
Oh yeah, like you'd do that. I'm sure you've got a sparkling resume, maybe I could pass it along to some friends of mine. You make too much money to quit.
SVETLANA
Oh yeah!
Svettelana beats on the plastic divider, the cab driver slides it open.
SVETLANA
Pull over here, now!
The cab pulls over to the side of the street.
JONATHAN
You can't leave me! I've already paid tonight!
Jonathan reaches out to grab Svettelana to try to keep her in the cab. She grabs his tie with both hands and slams his head into the plastic cab divider. He lets go of her as blood starts to gush from his nose.
JONATHAN
You fucking broke my nose!
SVETLANA
(to cab driver)
Let big-shot here pick up the fare.
(to Jonathan)
Tell the clients I'm sorry, but something came up!
Svettelana slams the door and walks down the street.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummm.. what is this from?

-LMoore

Monday, September 12, 2005 5:38:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I wrote it for a class last year, had it just sitting around the house.

Monday, September 12, 2005 8:02:00 PM

 
Anonymous bones said...

Good stuff, man.

Monday, September 12, 2005 10:36:00 PM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

i love swedish hoes

Monday, September 12, 2005 11:40:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cgpop, is it me, or do you really want to be Jonathan?
Chris

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 9:51:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

"Chris", again who knows if this is your real name or not. You are Svetlana.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 9:39:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great site » »

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 4:53:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! dildo

Thursday, April 26, 2007 8:09:00 AM

 

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