same as it ever was (talking heads)

Friday, September 09, 2005

Warning: Never ending shrimp

Currently Red Lobster is running their Never-Ending Shrimp fest. I like shrimp, this sounds enticing. I mean you can get popcorn shrimp, coconut shrimp, shrimp scampi, butterfly shrimp, fried shrimp, peel and eat shrimp, shrimp kabobs, shrimp on a stick (similar to the kabobs, but on a stick not a skewer), shrimp gumbo, shrimp jambolaya, steamed shrimp, sauteed shrimp, shrimp sashimi, shrimp rolls, re-fried shrimp, extra crispy re-fried shrimp, etc.

You get the picture, and I know what you're saying to yourself, "Holy shit, thanks cgpop, I'm going to run my ass over to Red Lobster tonight and get the never-ending shrimp deal!!" HOLD UP!!! STOP THERE!!! Do not, I repeat Do not go to the never-ending shrimp fest!!! If it was all you can eat shrimp, I'd say go ahead, I may even join you, but never-ending shrimp implies something much more sinister.

Never-ending shrimp means that those sadistic Red Lobster bastards will keep bringing you shrimp long after you've had your fill. To full to eat? Too bad, they'll strap your ass down and force feed you extra crispy re-fried shrimp until you can't see straight. They have cocktail sauce gun shooters too.

Basically what I'm saying is that for $14.99 of your hard-earned cash Red Lobster will basically feed you shrimp until you explode and die. And I don't want you to die at never-ending shrimp fest, because that would make the place smell really bad when I go to Lobsterfest.


Blogger Laura said...

You know how awesome that would be! Eating until you explode and die, except I would rather have something besides shrimp...Like Chicken. Mmm, Chicken.

Friday, September 09, 2005 4:02:00 PM

Blogger G. said...

Is it just me, or does it seem kinda insensitive that they're doing this right now, when New Orleans was like the shrimpin' capital of the world? I know Red Lobster is always doing shrimp-related promotions and they probably started this one even before the hurricane, but it still seems a little weird.

Friday, September 09, 2005 4:52:00 PM

Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

They do that at Ryan's Steakhouse in Athens, GA too. I barely made t out alive. T-Nutz wasnt so lucky.

Friday, September 09, 2005 5:44:00 PM

Blogger U2isOverratedandSucksTerribly-WorstBandEver said...

I think New Orleans is the Crawfish capital more so than the shrimping capital, but certainly it has a lot of seafood...

Shrimp is no good anyways.. Lobster.. now THAT is where it is at!! mmmmmmmmmmmm

Monday, September 12, 2005 11:19:00 AM

Blogger cgpop said...

Jeff Dahmer!!! Holy shit dude, I thought you were dead and shit. Lobster rules, so does U2.

Monday, September 12, 2005 3:07:00 PM

Blogger U2isOverratedandSucksTerribly-WorstBandEver said...

U2 hasn't had a good album in 20 years... They are weak and so are shrimp...

mmmmmmmmm..... laaaaaaahhhhhhbstter

Monday, September 12, 2005 3:18:00 PM

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