same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, October 10, 2005

"Lunar Park", an excerpt

E-mail memo #6: 15 miles southwest of Detroit writer was found hiding in back of stalled van on the median of a divided highway, picking at nonexistent scabs. E-mail memo #9: Somehow writer has been teargassed at anti-globalization demonstration in Chicago. E-mail memo #13: Berkeley; angry drug dealer was found choking writer due to lack of payment in alley behind Barnes & Noble. E-mail memo #18: Cleveland; writer slept until three p.m., missing all morning and lunch interviews; was then found pigging out on junk food until compelled to throw up. Also witnessed standing in front of hotel mirror sobbing, I'm getting so old. E-mail memo #27: Santa Fe; writer allegedly encouraged a Doberman pinscher to perform cunnilingus on unconscious groupie and when said animal failed to show interest in said groupie writer punched said animal in head and was severely bitten. E-mail memo #34: Miami Book Fair; writer locked himself in book-store bathroom repeatedly yelling at concerned employees to Go Away! When writer emerged an hour later he started to freak out again. I have a snake on me! writer screamed. It's biting me! It's IN MY MOUTH! Writer was dragged to a waiting squad car while holding on to bewildered young yeshiva student attending the reading-whom writer continuously fondled and groped-until ambulance arrived. His eyes rolling back in his head, writer's last words-shouted-before being driven off were quote, I am keeping the jew-boy, 22...editor's note: It's, so far, a typically funny and fucked-up BEE read.