same as it ever was (talking heads)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

who WAS cooler?

Corey Haim or Corey Feldman? I give the Haimster the edge in License To Drive, he hooked up with Heather Graham and drove to the hospital backwards. I would say Lost Boys is a push, so it seems. Feldman had the actual cooler character, supposedly a vampire killer and all, who ran security at the comic book shop with his brother (points for Turtle brothers moniker), but he really tried some deep method acting techniques that consisted of using a deeper voice than normal and the whole performance didn't quite gel for me. Haim's character was that of Joe everyday highschooler who has a recently turned vampire for a bro, not quite a vampire killer and definitely not on any badass comic book security detail, but Haim gives his typically non-offensive smarmy smart-ass performance, no crazy method acting like Feldman's deep voice thing. I would actually give Haim the slight edge here. Dream a Little Dream is a bit more difficult b/c I probably haven't seen it in 12 or so years, but I do remember Feldman dyed his hair and looked like an asshole (plus I think he had that stupid ass cross hanging down from ear, ear-ring, definite points off). Also, as is usually the case in the two movies they both appeared in together, Haim probably got more tang than Feldman, so through lack or memory on my part Haim gets this one too. By this point you may think "no contest Haim is the winner", hold the fucking phone. What other good movie vehicles was Haim in by himself, Lucas ? That's all I got, can't use my vast 80's mental rolodex to think of anything else (worthwhile at least) that Haim was in. Plus Haim was a fucking zero in Lucas, I don't know why Chuck Sheen befriended him, maybe Chuck Sheen was gay in that movie (totally kidding, Chuck Sheen is the man, and I don't remember anything else from that movie other than the fact that Haim's title character should have been the fucking waterboy). Feldman had some terrible roles in the 80's but he also had standout roles in both Goonies and The Burbs. EASILY the coolest goonie in the whole movie (talking shit to the Spanish maid, talking shit to mom Fritelli, etc., if you disagree I'd love to hear from you) and as everyone who was born a Gen X-er knows, the fucking Goonies is the shit. The Burbs is great under-rated movie and Feldman (while he doesn't come close to stealing the show) plays a solid supporting role. I mean, come on, dude has party and skips work b/c he knows crazy shit is about to go down on the block. So, looking at all the evidence, I'd have to throw my support behind Feldman. This is very important shit people, MLK Jr. had a dream and let people know about it, you should let people know who you think was a cooler 80's dude...


Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Feldman was also in Stand By Me. Teddy Duchamp had some issues, but you can't argue with the flick. Corey Haim nailed a hot chick in a car while scoping the joint his pops was locked up lookin' to bust him out in Fast Getaway. The movie sucked. Also, Feldman was the dude who got the chick (finally) in Dream a Little Dream, so he gets some points there, as weel as forming a solid friendship with classic Jason Robards. Though Corey Haim probably got more poon, Feldman is easily the more bad ass, and even demands a little respect.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 11:56:00 PM

Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

From a strictly objective perspective, Feldman gets the nod. mostly for the stand by me work.

BUT as i harken back to my teen years, i'd have to be honest and say my crush was on haim. he seemed less goth at the time. not to mention he gave explicit oral to nicole eggert in 1992's Blown Away, in which Feldman co-starred as his brother. And nicole did a brief stint at my high school around that time, so it was pretty scandalous.

hmmm. i think im going to go with haim.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 12:22:00 AM

Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

I vote for Feldman...dude, the guy was in Friday The 13th pt 3!!

NEVER liked Haim. Feldman turned into a faux-Michael jackson, but for awhile he was coo'

Thursday, October 13, 2005 2:13:00 AM

Anonymous bones said...

If I recall, Feldman rocked a walking cane in Dream A Little Dream. The result of getting hit by a car or something. Anyway, just like overcoats, very few young people can pull off a fashionable cane. Feldman did. I vote for him.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 9:30:00 AM

Blogger cgpop said...

Forgot about Stand By Me and Friday the 13th part 3. Remember Fast Getaway and Blown Away as well. Have you dudes seen Haim recently? The dude looks like an white Canadian version of Fat Albert.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 9:32:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"But this one here. This was my dream, MY wish. And I'm takin' it back. I'm takin' em' all back."
Goonies rocks.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 10:00:00 AM

Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Blown Away: brothers conspiring against brothers (corey v. corey), blown up dirt bikes and nicole eggert naked for half the movie make it a classic.

Still Feldman.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 12:06:00 PM

Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

goddammit. really? i mean, blown away ALONE. feldman, really?

Thursday, October 13, 2005 2:00:00 PM

Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 2:25:00 PM

Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Yes, Feldman, really.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 2:26:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got to give it to the one who nailed Nicole in Blown away I. He dominated the other one in that movie for that alone.

Also, CGPOP who are you make fun of an earring in the 80's if I remember correctly in high school you had one that was exponentially worse. CGPOP has a basketball Swooshing through a net in 1 ear.

Yeah that is right you heard me correctly a basketball in a net for an earring. WOW

Thursday, October 13, 2005 3:10:00 PM

Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

i must second that. wow.

tell me, did you also have hot pink vollyball shorts, ala C. Thomas Howell in Sideout?

Thursday, October 13, 2005 3:56:00 PM

Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

CGPop. That's hot, man.

Was Nicole Eggart the pretty blonde on Charles In Charge?

Thursday, October 13, 2005 4:23:00 PM

Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

you got it. gone all porn in Blown Away. And apparently, that was in reference to HER.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 4:31:00 PM

Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Actually, both Coreys nailed Nicole Eggert. Feldman and Eggert were trying to screw over Haim after Haim thought he and Eggert were in love and after Haim tried to kill her dad because of said love. Ultimately, Feldman is the one who truly owned that ass.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 4:48:00 PM

Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

if i weren't so indignant over voting for haim, which i feel i pretty much have to do given the fact that hes clearly the underdog in this debate, i'd tell you your quick wit and impressive knowledge of 80's movies is actually quite charming.

that said, honey, i feel A LOT of people truly owned that ass.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 4:53:00 PM

Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...


Thursday, October 13, 2005 5:22:00 PM

Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

intriguing. and here i sat thinking she was a goodie-goodie blonde 80s actress.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 5:25:00 PM

Blogger U2isOverratedandSucksTerribly-WorstBandEver said...

Ummm... Can I just vote for Nicole Eggert on this one? WOW!

Thursday, October 13, 2005 5:33:00 PM

Blogger cgpop said...

I was really hoping no one would bring up my basketball ear-ring. I played b-ball and shit, what can I say? Pretty bad move on my part nonetheless. No pink shorts though Scout, C. Thomas Howell is a badass in Soulman. I bet I get some hate mail from my Bond post. Sweet. BTW this has been a great discussion, appreciate the effort from all parties involved.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 7:40:00 PM

Anonymous Chops said...

Haim. It's no contest. Totally Haim.

Friday, October 14, 2005 1:07:00 PM

Blogger cgpop said...

Chops with an endorsement for Haim. Fighting an uphill battle on this one my friend. And also a vote for Nicole Eggert, I'll allow it.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 11:41:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007 10:20:00 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

Haim had th cane, kid

Thursday, June 08, 2017 10:02:00 PM


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