same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, October 31, 2005

Worst book...ever

Actually don't search inside, save yourself time and money. I'm sure this isn't groundbreaking news to anybody, but I am Charlotte Simmons is probably one of the worst books I've ever read, and I read The Davinci Code (just kidding, does that mean I'm still making fun of the Davinci Code or no?). Anyway I enjoyed Bonfire of the Vanities and kinda liked A Man In Full (the end sucked, a telling precursor to IACS). I truly got embarrassed for Tom Wolfe when I read this book, I think he's a talented author but he not handle whatsoever on college life in the new millennium. It was like reading a bad parody on college life (the dialogue is actually unintentionally hilarious, the only reason I really kept reading), but only it he wasn't doing a parody, he was pretty serious about the subject matter. I just opened the book at random, I knew I'd be able to find a terrible passage (p.302)...

In the row of vehicles just ahead of them, some great, strapping young men were up on the truck bed of a pickup, engaged in a beer fight. There was no missing their "ripped" bodies, that being Tyson's term for lean, highly defined muscular builds, since practically all were naked except for the shorts that hung down on their hips. Barks of anger, cries of laughter, thrashing arms. One of them produces a punctured can of beer and sprays another in the face from two feet away. "Die, asshole!" the victim yells in a macho voice, whereupon he throws himself upon his assailant and they go crashing to the truck-bed floor. Knees, feet, legs, shoulders, grimaces, bloodred faces pop up and crash as they grapple. Over the pickup's radio, a throaty young woman wails in the pell-mell cadence of the new pop music craze, crunk:"-spears her haunches Dirty Sanchez dude what wants her nude and slutty pseudo-ruts her butt so rudely taunts her..." Other, including a regular young giant, maybe six foot six, rangy but with muscles everywhere, stands over the combatants, cheering ironically and egging them on. Behind the giant another boy sneaks up, holding a jumbo plastic cup of beer in the air as if he were about to throw a baseball. "Hey Mac!" he says. The giant turns about, and the boy hurls his beer bomb, cup and all, at his midsection. The beer goes all over Mac. It soaks his shorts clear down to the crotch. "Oh you dick!" roars Mac as he goes at him, but the boy dodges and vaults over the side of the truck bed and down to the asphalt. "Come on back up here, you wuss, and fight like a wuss!" And on it goes, as the crunk singer wails, "Gots the curse her pad her madder hearse her cold cunt cash her outta door..."

editor's note: I wish that this passage were a joke, but sadly no. Oh Tom Wolfe, how will I ever be able to write something as funny as that! I fucking opened a page at random!!! So fucking baaaaaad. There's, remarkably, worse shit than that in the book, I'm not kidding.

17 Comments:

Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

what was he thinking? sounds as bad as the "rap" lyrics he composed for the opening scene at Freaknik for "man in full."

Monday, October 31, 2005 10:34:00 PM

 
Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

this gives me hope one day i'll publish my own brand of swill. thanks, cgpop.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 12:42:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

yeah those were some terrible "lyrics". always glad to be of help scout.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 6:18:00 AM

 
Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Thanks for the warning. One of my friends actually recommended it. Now I realize that he has been giving Tom Wolfe head ever since he read Bonfire of the Vanities (which you're right, it is good).

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 12:20:00 PM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

I love Wolfe, but after reading "Hooking Up" I decided maybe it was time to give him a rest.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 3:51:00 PM

 
Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

maybe im late on the ship, but ive not read any of wolfe. im more of a vonnegut girl myself.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 4:41:00 PM

 
Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Completely different experience where I come from.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 8:12:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

Wolfe is good, as mention really liked Bonfire and Man in Full (minus last 75 or so pages) he just really was out of touch with this subject matter, and it shows.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 11:54:00 PM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

the electric kool-aid acid test was a good'un too. i never read the right stuff, but did see the movie.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 2:08:00 AM

 
Blogger James Baker said...

Hey Fellow, you have a great blog here! I have a web
site & blog about woolrich pet beds.
Yours is top-notch!
If you have a moment, please visit my site
woolrich pet beds
I wish you all the best!

Friday, January 27, 2006 8:49:00 PM

 
Blogger James Baker said...

I was just searching blogs,and I found your site, Friend! I like it!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success.
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
credit center
It pretty much covers credit center related issues.
All the best!

Thursday, April 06, 2006 9:40:00 PM

 
Blogger Joe Berenguer said...

Hi Blogger!I like your blog! Keep up the
good work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my site:
pet center
It pretty much covers pet center related issues.
Best regards!

Thursday, May 25, 2006 4:06:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

free love poem

Monday, February 12, 2007 1:18:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! »

Friday, February 16, 2007 6:41:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Protects your computer automatically Allows you to completely wipe viruses from your PC beyond recovery Compatible with all other Virus program for added extra security! Eliminate computer viruses forever

Friday, February 23, 2007 12:01:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! Health insurance low deductible Pcs barcode scanner Zyrtec glenwood springs colorado

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 5:50:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. »

Saturday, March 17, 2007 12:59:00 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home