same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, November 07, 2005

The CGP interview #3, TARA REID

CGP: Tara, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to take the time to talk with me (uncontrollable laughter)
Tara: Is the connection bad, I thought I heard laughing.
CGP: Laughter, I don't think so...hmmm, maybe you're drunk right now, is that it? Are you drunk, maybe hearing shit?
Tara: Yeah, duh. But I haven't taken any pills or anything yet.
CGP: Come on now, no one believes that. I guarantee you you've had some Xanax today.
Tara: That doesn't count, I had a headache earlier. I thought you were going to be nice to me?
CGP: Oh Tara, I'm so sorry, I've been a tad insensitive in the past, I know. Let me just say, you've been a big person for doing this interview. Huge in fact, who did your boob job?
Tara: None of your business.
CGP: If we were hanging out and I slipped you a fiver, could I see your tits?
Tara: No.
CGP: Yeah right, Ok, no. How about a 20 spot?
Tara: No.
CGP: I guess I'd have to wait, like everyone else for them to pop out then, I'm not a very patient dude, but I guess I could wait like 10 minutes.
Tara: Aren't we going to talk about my career?
CGP: (uncontrollable laughter)
Tara: I'm serious!
CGP: (choking on the Skittles I was eating)
Tara: I mean, I know those assholes cancelled Taradise, but it was the fault of the editors!
CGP: (finishing up with laughter) Oh my god, I'm almost died there, but it was soooo worth it Tara. Ok, I do have a question for you, what is editing?
Tara: It's like this thing that the people with the cameras do.
CGP: You mean the cameramen?
Tara: Yeah, I guess so.
CGP: Wrong. Want to try again?
Tara: It's how they make the show all bad and stuff, I don't know, it wasn't my fault. They made me look like a drunk whore, who drank and partied all the time. I looked stupid, I'm not stupid, I'm just usually very drunk, and that doesn't really help me remember stuff or do things so well.
CGP: You mean do stuff well like act, I just want you to know that I'm making air quotes when I refer to what you do as acting.
Tara: I didn't understand that.
CGP: Big surprise.
Tara: It doesn't matter though, I'm still a movie star.
CGP: (more laughter)
Tara: I've been in a bunch of films, it's me Tara, Tara Reid, I act.
CGP: You were just in The Crow: Wicked Prayer. Any comments about that?
Tara: Are you sure, no way, I don't remember that.
CGP: I mean I didn't see it, but I just checked out IMDB, you were listed in the cast, there was a picture of you on the poster.
Tara: Dave Matthews? What? I hate editors?
CGP: Were you just asking me if you hate editors?
Tara: When is Paris coming over, do you know when? We are going to party tonight!
CGP: I feel very sorry for your family.
Tara: I'm an actress, I can act.
CGP: Yeah, really, that's great. Listen, Ummm, the IRS is on the other line, I'd much rather speak to them than continue this conversation. Good luck with future wardrobe malfunctions and malicious editing techniques.
Tara: Lucious, I used to date him, we had a threesome with Bijou Phillips. Hello?

15 Comments:

Anonymous bones said...

"I'm not stupid, I'm just usually very drunk" <-- I hope we're not insuinating that this is a bad thing?

Good interview, though, and RIP to Taradise. It will be missed.

Monday, November 07, 2005 9:48:00 PM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

she's my FAVORITE train wreck. it will suck when she eventually quits boozin hard.

Monday, November 07, 2005 10:55:00 PM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

P.S. - I never go to see "taradise" which I can only imagine was fantastic.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 2:54:00 PM

 
Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

oh, tara.

there is something so retarded about her i just want to scoop her up and take her to the special olympics. id do it too, if i didnt know the real contestants wouldn't laugh her off the field.

(you did you get her plastic surgeons number though, cgpop? no reason. thanks.)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 4:05:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I was "lucky" enough to catch two episodes of Taradise, a slow-motion train wreck.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 5:37:00 PM

 
Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Yeah, I saw one episode. It was actually pretty genius, if you ask me. And don't worry Satisfied, I don't think we'll have to worry about sobriety ruining the train wreck for us. But the clap may eat her alive - that could do it.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 6:05:00 PM

 
Anonymous Sean Connery said...

Aye, but are there some ass shots of her in an inter-tube??

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 6:21:00 PM

 
Anonymous Roger Moore said...

Agreed. I'd bugger her faster than paris hilton can lose her panties.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 6:31:00 PM

 
Blogger Brent said...

Funny stuff.

I wish someone would take her, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, and Lindsay Lohan far far away.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 9:51:00 PM

 
Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Pig, you are a genius.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 10:15:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I concur, being famous for the sake of being famous is getting old now.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 10:18:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

Sorry Sean and Roger. I'm not sorry if you didn't read my James Bond post though.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 10:19:00 PM

 
Anonymous Timothy Dalton said...

Bugger off!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005 10:40:00 PM

 
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