same as it ever was (talking heads)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Bumper Stickers

ahhhh yes. Show the world that you are a non-conformist. Do you like stuff? Well sure you do, why don't you let everybody else know that you like stuff, then let them know what that stuff is. Do some things make you mad? Like TV, bad drivers, or environmental concerns? Fuck those bad things, share your frustration with a defiant bumper sticker to protest THE MAN. I mean, I haven't yet killed my TV, but I only watch it for six hours a day now! I'm getting close "Kill your TV" bumper sticker. Fuck all that, I know a bumper sticker that I could use now! "I hate TV and THE MAN but still watch six hours of TV a day! Go fuck yourself George Bush!". That would be an awesome bumper sticker! Shit! Politics! I don't really consider myself on either side of the political spectrum (they both totally suck...in my opinion) but I've got to get me one of those black W bumper sticker, those are hot. I love to invade shit! Just try and suicide bomb me, "Texas! Fuck YEAH!" That's another one! I'm on a roll! Or maybe I could get a "Don't blame me I voted Democrat" stickers. I might have to get some sort of amnesia to ever actually vote for a democrat but (we're talking long term soap opera type amnesia) but I'd cool with people like Al Franken and Janeane Garofalo. Al Franken! That guy was hilarious! I mean, "Stuart Saves his Family" I was actually in tears after I saw the movie. Janeane Garofalo! Come on, you may think she's a stupid cunt who doesn't know what the fuck she speaks of (and you'd be right) but at least she'd like my bumper sticker! What would my liberal bumper sticker be? How about, "Liberals... sure communism doesn't work, but at least we listen to good music". Fuck Yeah! Religious zealots. Here's the wackiest group of all, but a very large wacky group, many of whom memorialize Jesus in the most thoughtful of ways...by letting all of us know that he died for our sins with a piece of paper stuck to their bumpers! God bless you all, truly modern day saints, I'm sure all of you will make it heaven, and the rest of the evil sinners w/o bumper stickers will rot in a fiery hell. I want to go to heaven! I gotta get me a religious bumper sticker. How about..."Jesus Christ is my safety belt", that'll do it, I'm sure! Music! I love music! I soooo want to be like that dude in the VW van with all the dancing bears and widespread bumper stickers. The one who had to quit his job at Krystal to follow Phish on their last cross-country tour and also resorted to selling pot brownies to support his pregnant wife while they spread music love hope. I don't want these people to think I'm a fucking narc, I'm getting me some dancing bears, or maybe this would be better, "I haven't cut or washed my beard in 12 years, and I just lost a joint in it". Perfect. Soccer Moms! I know I drive extra careful when I see a "baby on board" sticker. I'd like to see a statistic of car crashes with soccer moms who have a BOB sticker on their Chrysler mini van, I bet it's 0%. I bet it can guarantee safety. I don't want to get in a car crash. Maybe I can get a BOBBS, I'd be lying though (again), maybe this would work better, "Leather clad transvestite midget on board, similar in size to a toddler". YES! My safety would be intact!

Bumper sticker. I have ideas like things do stuff know stuff say stuff feelings thoughts am unique and original do not follow 4 leaf clover etc etc etc8yearoldpubliclyurinatingonafordorchevysymbol...

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bumper stickers 01
I love animals, they taste great.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 3:35:00 PM

 
Anonymous Jesus of Nazareth.......Nazareth said...

the other day, in the same black and white color and font as those "W The President" stickers, I saw...

" J


The Christ"


the south is out of control.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 11:26:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

Yikes! Ridiculous.

Thursday, December 15, 2005 5:53:00 AM

 
Anonymous York said...

I am still looking for a MWB sticker. . .Max Weigandt Band. I think the stickers have dancing cartons of milk.

Thursday, December 15, 2005 10:27:00 AM

 
Blogger U2isOverratedandSucksTerribly-WorstBandEver said...

i do like the "Nice People Swallow" bumper sticker to combat the hippy 'mean people suck' one.. and the 'honk if you love jesus'..


just read the other one on things kong should crush.. well done on that one.. that should be an ongoing list...

Thursday, December 15, 2005 11:40:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I thought it was "Weigandt Weigandt" now. More of a Duran Duran or New Order sound. I thought, I could be wrong.

Thursday, December 15, 2005 10:24:00 PM

 

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