same as it ever was (talking heads)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The CGP interview #4, "The Grinch"

CGP: Ok, let's cut right to the chase you crazy bastard, are you going to try and steal Christmas this year?
Grinch: I just can't reveal my secrets, it just wouldn't be right.
CGP: Come on...hey wait, aren't you supposed to rhyme?
Grinch: Oh that, yeah see my contract is up with the Doctor. I'm a free agent right now. I do birthday parties, bah mitzvahs, Shakespeare in the Park, lounge acts, you name it. Anyone out there can contact my agent Murray...
CGP: Let me stop you there, we don't really care about any of that, quit dodging, stealing Christmas this year... yes or no.
Grinch: I really can't say.
CGP: My producer/editor told me you'd be answering this question Grinch, now cough it up!
Grinch: Ok, ok, I was just messing with you. Yep, I'm stealing Christmas this year. Try not and let too many people know ahead of time.
CGP: I figured as much, are you going to puss out this time?
Grinch: Nope, don't worry about that. Cindy Who's all grown up and in the porn industry now.
CGP: Really? Wow. Have you ever thought about stealing Channakuh or Kwanza?
Grinch: I've kicked the thought around, but It'd be a logistical nightmare. Whereas Christmas is just on a single day the others are to spread out. I have other interests besides stealing Christmas. Mime work is one of them.
CGP: Fascinating stuff. I've always wondered why everyone got so worked up about the fact that you tried to steal Christmas. I mean it's a pretty shitty thing to do, but it's nothing compared to what the Who's of Whoville did to your kind.
Grinch: Yeah, you know I've always wondered the same thing. The plight of the Grinchy's has never really been covered by the mainsteam media.
CGP: Yeah, I've done some research. There hasn't been a genocide as large as the "Grinch Lynch" seen on this side of the Atlantic since the days of manifest destiny. Those Who's really hated your kind and definitely exterminated the majority of your race. I can't really blame them though, you are a disgusting peoples.
Grinch: Ha Ha, you are a kidder you.
CGP: Yeah, I wasn't kidding. It's been real Grinch, the proper authorities will be informed of your attempts to steal Christmas again thanks fo...
Grinch: One more thing before we go!
CGP: What?
Grinch: I do haiku now, you asked me why I don't rhyme anymore, I do haiku. Wanna hear one?
CGP: No, but go ahead. I'm hanging up then.
Grinch: Great!

Hemophilia
blood red squirt squirt stop drip taste
Yes the end is (click)

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does the Grinch sport a jacket but no pants?? Doesn't his Hog get cold up on that mountain especially sitting on the snow, I wish you would have asked him that.

Donald Duck of course as well.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 4:26:00 PM

 
Blogger Laura said...

Cindy is in the porn industry now?...Oh so that's who that was.

Maybe him be pantless is the reason he is so pissed off. It has nothing to do with his heart being two sizes too small.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 5:04:00 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

Cindy would definitely be in the porn industry. Look at the hair, she's got the hair of a porn fanatic, straight-up.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 11:24:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Thursday, March 15, 2007 7:57:00 AM

 

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