same as it ever was (talking heads)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Fuck, I had time to post (things I'd like to see King-Kong destroy)

1. Smirnov Ice
2. That sitcom, Joey.
3. The Oscars, Emmy's, Espy's, MTV music video awards, MTV movie awards, Latin Emmy's, Country Music Awards, Billboard Music Awards, American Music Awards, MTV Europra Awards (or whatever the fuck they're called), BET Music Awards, Source Music Awards The Golden Globes, The Tony Awards, AFI Awards, VH1 Big in (insert year) awards, Comedy Central Awards Show (yes, there is one), Teen-Choice Awards, Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards, Nick-at-Night Awards Show, I'm sure there are many more...King-Kong needs to destroy all of them.
4. Reggaeton
5. Macaroni Art
6. "Greatest" "Hits" compilations from all 80's hair-"metal" "bands"
7. Sean Salisbury, the official largest doucherocket of the past year, I fucking hate him.
8. Ellen Degeneres (did i even need to put this down? probably Kong's first target)
9. Flashbacks and/or dreams (in movies and especially TV shows)
10. Creepy mall Santa's who look like Santa the entire year.
11. Actors/models/Dj's/heroin addicts (only kidding, I admire this set greatly, seeing as they are better than me)
12. Meteorologists
13. British Night aka BK (shoes and commercials for shoes)
14. Mothra (that's not right, is it?)
15. Sunny Delight (worst tasting drink ever, I would rather get a blood transfusion with the "Purple Stuff" before I had to drink a glass of Sunny D)

26 Comments:

Blogger Captain Bee said...

"Doucherocket".

Piss. My. Pants.

Friday, December 09, 2005 12:37:00 AM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

i'll add to the list:

*oprah
*k-fed
*the McRib sandwich

Friday, December 09, 2005 4:21:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I think K-fed is a hologram. Terrible secret, I actually like the Mcrib, even though it should probably be eliminated by Kong, I think there'd be enough public sentiment.

Friday, December 09, 2005 5:29:00 AM

 
Blogger Brent said...

Meteorology is an exact science where only highly-skilled professionals accurately predict weather patterns for up to 30 days in advance without fault. They should be praised, not killed!

Friday, December 09, 2005 7:14:00 AM

 
Blogger Brent said...

I'm with the guy above on "K-fed", what a fag.

Also:
Paris HIlton and her idiot friend Nicole Richie.

"Entertainment Tonight" and "US Weekly"

Nancy Grace

Friday, December 09, 2005 7:16:00 AM

 
Anonymous max said...

Sunny D is like Loius XIII when compared to that new sprite drink, sprite remix.

After tasting it I was so bad I had to throw the drink at the wall, and I have not even had a sprite since even though sprite is the second best drink on the planet next to milk.

You guys all should try it.

Friday, December 09, 2005 7:59:00 AM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

That Mountain Dew Code Red shit was pretty fucking rank, too.

Friday, December 09, 2005 10:04:00 AM

 
Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Fucking rank, indeed, Capt. Bee. Kong should destroy all soft drink "remixes." Whatever they may be. I may be the only one who feels this way, but Coke Zero can suffer Kong's wrath, as well.

Also, good calls on the Oprah and Nancy Grace. And Sean Salisbury has consistently been the biggest blow-hard tool of all sports commentators.

And I might I add anti-popularistic, pseudo-elitist, hipster douches who listen to music simply because it's obscure (or because the band name is something like My Grandmother's Anal Balm in the Post-Apocolyptic Poetry or Unsound Minds) and don't really have any idea what they're talking about past convoluted lyrics that really don't mean anything or have any message, but that the lead singer/song writer wants to slit his wrists. All of those people deserve a knuckle Kongwich and a date with his incisors.

Sorry about the length, but I'm just sayin'.

Friday, December 09, 2005 12:45:00 PM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

nancy grace. good. fucking. call.

she should be shot on site.

Friday, December 09, 2005 4:26:00 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

"And I might I add anti-popularistic, pseudo-elitist, hipster douches who listen to music simply because it's obscure (or because the band name is something like My Grandmother's Anal Balm in the Post-Apocolyptic Poetry or Unsound Minds) and don't really have any idea what they're talking about past convoluted lyrics that really don't mean anything or have any message, but that the lead singer/song writer wants to slit his wrists. All of those people deserve a knuckle Kongwich and a date with his incisors."

^ Huge ups to that.

If I hear one more person plug the Arctic Monkeys I'm going to start crafting some nooses.

Friday, December 09, 2005 4:31:00 PM

 
Anonymous kaplan said...

king kong can also eat the following:

1. sean "p.diddy" "puff" "p" combs
2. terrell owens
3. bette midler

Friday, December 09, 2005 7:09:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

This all turned out well, I'm very happy for and support the suggestions. "Knuckle Kongwich" is sweet, I think it should be some sort of sexual manuver.

Friday, December 09, 2005 9:41:00 PM

 
Blogger Chili Drip said...

I'll figure out how the "Knuckle Kongwich" could be sexual, maybe somehow include a slow chili dog...

anyway here are my suggestions

1) the WNBA
2) the state of Florida
3) bicycle cops (did you hear they are making a movie version of CHIPS, with the dude from that 70's show as Ponch)
4) and oh yeah, THE WNBA

Saturday, December 10, 2005 12:47:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

WNBA, best one yet (sorry ladies).

Saturday, December 10, 2005 5:47:00 AM

 
Blogger Brent said...

The State of Florida rules except for Miami, central Florida (due to the Gators influx), Jacksonville, Tallahassee and Tampa-St. Pete. It's great!

Saturday, December 10, 2005 9:36:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God how did we al miss the WNBA. Sanders come on man that should be on top.

Well done Chilli Drip

Monday, December 12, 2005 12:50:00 PM

 
Blogger CHW said...

Please add:

George W
Celion Dion
All of the fat-guy-hot-wife sitcoms

Monday, December 12, 2005 4:08:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

fat guy hot wife sitcoms is a classic.

Monday, December 12, 2005 8:23:00 PM

 
Blogger U2isOverratedandSucksTerribly-WorstBandEver said...

transvestites
mosquitos
beanie babies
wal mart greeters
pippy longstocking
backpack girls
goth kids
john lithgow (harry from harry and the hendersons may get pissed though)
hurricanes
guppies
o'douls
florida gator football team

Thursday, December 15, 2005 11:31:00 AM

 
Blogger U2isOverratedandSucksTerribly-WorstBandEver said...

ok.. a couple more..

sally struthers
fire ants
title 9
those bracelets for a cause (he can leave the yellow one if needed)
those 80's slap bracelets can go
mold
cold sores
atomic fireballs and warheads candy
ear wax
periods for women
chinese tattoos
bed bugs
obese people on planes
wilford brimley
cream soda
donald trump's hair
tookie (if he was alive)
boogie monsters
earwigs
government workers

I could keep very busy handing out knuckle kongwiches, but I better stop for now...

-LMoore.. OUT!!

Thursday, December 15, 2005 12:22:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

Damn, excellent job dude. Too many funny ones to repeat. Fuck those atomic fireball candies though, I fucking hate them.

Thursday, December 15, 2005 10:27:00 PM

 
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