same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, December 05, 2005

It happened

a few weeks back the world went officially fucking insane. Not in a good funny way either, but in a bad insane way. One of my friend's informed me that "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas was officially the number 1 downloaded song, on iTunes, of the week. I checked today and it was number 6?! When the fuck did people stop trying? And why wasn't I informed by a massive national alert system of sirens or something. I know everyone has heard this song, it is so bad that it truly defies all logic. It's honestly the worst song I've ever heard in my life, I know people often throw that phrase around but this isn't hyperbole. I would rather listen to that pussy Cat Dolls song five times in a row than listen to "My Humps" (and I was sure, positive that stupid horrible pussy Cat Dolls song was easily the worst song of the year, fuck you again Black Eyed Peas). If you like "My Humps" you are a horrible human being, end of story, with no real redeemable qualities either. If you have downloaded "My Humps" in a non-ironic fashion, all of your future music listening privledges should be revoked, and you should be kicked in the shin, very hard, by Chuck Norris, wearing steel toe boots. Anyway here are the "lyrics" to "My Humps", worst fucking shit imaginable....

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these icies.
Dolce & Gabana,
Fendi and NaDonna
Karen they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
But I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass'n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrting.
My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all you money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make, you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk with my cocoa puff,
Milky, milkly cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky, riiiiiiight.
They say I'm really sexy,
They boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want to drama,
No drama, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump
My lovely lady lumps (x3)
In the back and in the front.
My lovin got you
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'
Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
editor's note: I'm in a bad mood now, I wonder what would cheer me up? Hmmm, well I don't wish death upon anyone, but if all of the Black Eyed Peas died tonight, I'd be in, yeah, I'd be in a much better mood, a great mood even.

14 Comments:

Blogger Captain Bee said...

Fergie, the chick from the Black Eyed Peas, clearly uses her face as a doorstop. She is mangled.

Monday, December 05, 2005 11:55:00 PM

 
Blogger Martin McFriend said...

Dude, those creatures are so unsightly. I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck that thing is with the long straight hair and little rock box in his hands. I'd kind of like to see Fergie thrown screaming from a helicopter. I would tailgate SEC style for such an event. Bring back public floggings!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 2:19:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck norris has tried to kill the entire band three times since "lump" came out. However, one of the members is actually the alien from the movie "predator" making it much harder.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 7:25:00 AM

 
Anonymous bones said...

I'm happy to say that I still have not heard this song. Nor have I heard the Pussy Cat Dolls song. But, I have heard that Gwen Stephani "holla back girl" song from a few months back, and it still gives me diareha. I can only imagine what these songs will give me when I inevitably hear them. Hopefully a handjob, but I kind of doubt it.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 9:52:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I really like that tailgate idea. I hope the crowd would rival a UGA vs. UT crowd.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 10:42:00 AM

 
Blogger Chili Drip said...

That's pretty sweet actually that a song, no matter how bad it is, can actually give Bones the diareha. That could come in handy whenever you want to perform the chili dawg, all you have to do is put in a "shitty" song.

I heard they are making this song the theme to Ghost in the Darkness 2, staring Chuck Norris of course as one of the lions.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 4:57:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

You kid about GITD Chilli Drip, you won't think it's so funny if I ever get off my lazy ass and tell the story about it, and then review it again.

Also, you're a sick fuck, funny, but really sick.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 5:09:00 PM

 
Blogger The Captain of the Ship said...

i second bones.

what the fuck is a "holla back girl"?

though (i stand alone here, i know) that fergie has the most insane legs. what? she does. don't fucking front like you don't think so.

and i have no idea what this song is but i'm slightly offended that i don't know what a NaDonna is.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 12:49:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

If you don't know this song count your blessings that you've never heard it. Fergie has a rocking body, that doesn't make up for the music she has polluted the air-waves with.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 11:06:00 AM

 
Blogger sasefina said...

Fergie and the entire band need to just die.

Mr. Pop, I was pointed in your direction earlier while at dinner with Marty and Satisfied, who mentioned this post. I CANNOT AGREE WITH YOU ANY MORE VEHEMENTLY.

As I remarked to another friend last week, this song makes me embarrassed to be a human being. The last song that provoked such a response was "Dunkie Butt," but that at least had some redeeming comedic value. This shit is just not funny. Why god why why??

Thursday, December 08, 2005 2:46:00 AM

 
Anonymous max said...

"Let me see that thong, That thong tha thong thong.... Let me see that thong"

Sanders stick up for your fav "Holla Back song" You have told me you like it no?

Thursday, December 08, 2005 9:38:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

I'll do a post about it Max, don't worry.

Monday, December 12, 2005 8:58:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read asian men naked web site advertising firms How long for viagra Negitive effects of divorce web promotion setubal beresford web site marketing Bluffdale web site marketing Replica lamborghini saltillo Consumers reports dishwashers austin internet marketing strategic http://www.finasteride-and-mesotherapy.info/Mesotherapy-recovery-time.html

Thursday, February 15, 2007 10:12:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read job openings at call centers Open source sillicon valley http://www.easy-blackberry-cobbler-recipe.info/Blackberry-phones-7100-for-sale-for-nextel.html

Thursday, March 01, 2007 4:40:00 PM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home