same as it ever was (talking heads)

Friday, January 27, 2006

The CGP interview #5, "Bill Cosby"

CGP: Coz, thanks for being here today, it's an honor.
The Coz: Thank you.
CGP: I'm half-joking, we've had Jack on so this is actually a decided step down. First off, Fat Albert, quite a mean nickname to give to a struggling overweight inner city youth, don't you think? Did you ever think of trying something like "Big-boned" "Al", because let's face it, calling the kid Albert is worse than saying he's fat, totally lame name.
The Coz: What?
CGP: The name Albert, just not cool. Moving on, the whole gang seemed to have very big lips, this character trait could be viewed as racially insensitive especially in today's politically correct climate. So I'll give you your say, was this racially motivated in any way? Or was the gang just ahead of the curve and hip to Botox before anyone else? The smart answer here is Botox.
The Coz: Are you crazy?
CGP: Dodging the hard questions, huh? Moving on. Do you have Lisa Bonet's phone number?
The Coz: No, but I can give you Tempest Bledsoe's number.
CGP: What? The only reason I had you on was to get her number! Shit! I guess I'll have to try to stalk here by more conventional methods, you know, like myspace. Ok, moving on...again, who would win in a fight between Webster and Gary Coleman?
The Coz: You are crazy!
CGP: Wrong answer, Gary Coleman, he's much bigger and he's a security guard. I doubt they give him a gun, but I'm sure he's got a nightstick. Moving on, who greenlit Leonard Part 6 and where are the missing 1-5 Leonard movies? You can either answer that or this, are you personally sorry for Ghost Dad? Last year alone there were over 1,000 Ghost Dad related suicides in this state alone.
The Coz: I've publicly apologized for Ghost Dad numerous times, we have a web site also www.pleasedontkillyourselfbecauseofghostdad.com
CGP: Who's idea was it to let Michael Jackson host "Kids Say The Darndest Things" when you were out with the flu? Presumably the same dude who gives LP6 and GD the thumbs up?
The Coz: In hindsight, a very bad idea, and yes, it was the same person we have a web site www.settlementforkidssaythedarndestthingsguesthostedbyMichaelJacksontheepisodethatneveraired.com
CGP: One last question, exactly what percent of your soul is owned by the Jello pudding folks?
The Coz: 63%