same as it ever was (talking heads)

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

You SUCK!


Where was the scene in episode 6 where Jar Jar Binks dies? Where was it George Lucas? First let me state the obvious here, the last 3 Star Wars movies episodes 4-6 were fucking horrible (not breaking news). I'm not some crazy Star Wars lunatic fan but I was born in the late 1970's, so the original Star Wars were awesome. Sure, I saw all of the new installments in the theaters but I haven't seen any of them since, nor do I or will I ever have the desire to again. Basically here were everyone's reactions to the three films...

Jar Jar Binks movie (walking out of the theater): "Why was there an annoying rastafarian alien in the movie, fuck that guy! Besides that I guess it was cool, the special effects were good, I guess."

Jar Jar Binks movie (one week after having seen it): "Dude, that movie really sucked bad didn't it. Fuck that Jamaican alien. The next one will be better."

Yoda fighting movie (waiting in line before the movie): "I heard Yoda fights in this movie? Sounds cool, I thought he could barely walk and had a cane? If that Binks dude is in this shit I'm getting a fucking refund...I'm not kidding...I will so do it, will to, just watch me!"

Yoda fighting movie (after walking out of the theater): "Was that good? Everyone says it was better than the first one? I'm confused here, I don't really think it was good. Yoda did flips and shit? Then he couldn't walk again? What was that shit when Darth Vader was rolling around in the grass like a pussy? I really think this movie may have had the worst dialogue of any movie ever."

Yoda fighting movie (one week after having seen it): "Fuck! Yoda fighting movie really sucked too! When does the next one come out? Two years, I guess I still have to go see it. It better be good."

Last one (a couple months before it's supposed to be released): "I heard it was supposed to be all dark and almost got an R rating. That sounds kinda cool."

Last one (after movie): "That was it?! That was the good one we'd been waiting for? Fuck this, Fuck you George Lucas. I hope Harrison Ford sees you and kicks your ass!"

Last one (should've been the reaction because of the changes to the film that I just made up): "Dooood, fucking awesome! When Darth Vader slit that Jar Jar dude's throat and drank his blood! Fucking classic! I can't believe we got to see Natalie Portman's tits! They're not that big, but still, fucking awesome! I really didn't see her that turn to lesbianism coming, totally blind-sided me."

10 Comments:

Blogger Captain Bee said...

Jar Jar Binks was the biggest fucking abortion of a character ever to be conceived, and not leaving him on the editing room floor is awful.

You might as well have a dude wearing a purple shirt saying "Meesa a douchebag".

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 6:54:00 PM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

Agree, worst character ever.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 7:11:00 PM

 
Blogger CassieLove said...

I stumbled across your blog while doing research on Valentine's Day gifts for my site Valentine's Day gifts. Thought I'd say thanks!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 11:41:00 PM

 
Anonymous elliott said...

"the last 3 Star Wars movies episodes 4-6 were fucking horrible". aren't the last 3 movies episodes 1-3? i think we grew up with 4-6 and love them. i could be wrong. "attack of the clones" was the worst one. the scenes with "ani" and padme were unbearable.

and if you want to be a real geek, read "heir to the empire" by timothy zahn. he wrote three books that take place after episodes 4-6. ten times better than the crappy new movies.

Thursday, January 19, 2006 8:20:00 AM

 
Blogger cgpop said...

Totally correct, my mistake, yet I think you got the gist of the movies I was referring to. Yeah, the shit where they are rolling around in the field, wtf is that shit about?, technical foul.

Thursday, January 19, 2006 9:22:00 AM

 
Blogger Martin McFriend said...

Bad bad bad movies. No Padme titty action, no jar jar bloody death catharsis.

Thursday, January 19, 2006 3:22:00 PM

 
Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

I saw the first hours after I gotten out from a night in jail. Jar Jar made me want to go back.

Thursday, January 19, 2006 4:45:00 PM

 
Anonymous Oninthemorning said...

CGpop, I think we saw the Jar Jar Binks movie together. Thank god the Donkey Puncher let us cut in line or I would have had to add another 45 minutes to the time I wasted watching that horrible fucking movie. Time I will never get back.

Friday, January 20, 2006 6:49:00 AM

 
Blogger Brent said...

Aww, but I wanted to go to Toschi Station to pick up some power converters!

Eps. 1-2 suck. Ep. 3 is good.

Friday, January 20, 2006 7:31:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice site! »

Thursday, February 22, 2007 12:29:00 PM

 

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