same as it ever was (talking heads)

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

shop post work

I am a heavy proponent of the shopping after working. I must go on more of a daily basis, but there a couple of reasons that I don't really mind. Reason 1, I waste less food, no weird smells coming from the fridge b/c of that jar of mayo that I bought nine months ago and masturbated into six months ago when I decided it was a good idea to drink a bottle of wild turkey before I go hunting wild turkey (totally kidding, mayo sucks, I'd never buy it) yet my drift is caught, this saves money and is very eco-friendly in the fact that we just don't throw away food provided to us by mother earth (I joined up with a militant wing of forward thinking eco-terrorist cult recently, they make me shop everyday after work, and I have to worship Gary Busy, could be worse). Reason 2, man are there some smoking chicks who also shop post work on a semi-daily basis. The Kroger I shop at just needs a shot girl running around and I'd be good to go, fucking solid talent. The only real problem I have is that I can't really cook, and chicks dig dudes who can cook. I can either take a cooking class and learn how to cook (logical decision) or just lie my ass off and say something like, "Oh yeah, I'm really into fusion cooking. You mean to tell me you've never had Lucky Charms and chicken fingers? It's HUGE in Europe." Anyway on to some possible grocery store pick lines I'm kicking around in my head...

1. "Do you know where the salad dressing is? Aisle 6? Cool, thanks, you wanna fuck?"
2. "Oh yeah, I'm buying this water to send to our troops overseas and for some local homeless neighborhood puppies. Are you interested in giving me a handjob?"
3. "So what! I like Fresca! It is NOT as gay as Tab!" (sorry not really a pickup line, more of a daily occurrence)
4. "Did you know that shrimp are an aphrodisiac? Yeah, you're right, they aren't but they don't have any fucking oysters in stock, work with me here."
5. "Bunch of hot tail running around don't you think so? Anyway how about you go round up some of the other uber-hotties prancing around, I'll go buy 200 or so pounds of jello, we'll all take it back to my crib (urban for house) where I have an above ground pool, fill that motherfucker up, meanwhile you ladies can get all naked and lezzz out while I videotape. Don't worry I got some tunes back at the crib, but do you mind spotting me for some booze?"

Monday, February 27, 2006

iTunes playlist (7): Ulrich Schauss

Check this shit. "In All The Wrong Places" (m4a). Oh yeah, I just my interwebbing going on in the new pad, so hopefully that'll lead to some more frequent updates. No promises (still crazy busy) yet I should be able to do a better job than the last couple of weeks. This song really takes off at about the 3 minute mark, so keep listening if initially bored. werd.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Things that have happened to me since I started listening to The Shins (aka, how The Shins have changed my life)

1. Got herpes.
2. Befriended a volleyball, which in turn made me lose all of my previously existing friends. Now most of the time we just hang out, just the two of us, me and Wilson. Wilson's not very talkative, but a great listener, so it's cool I guess. I know what you guys are thinking, and NO I don't fill him full of air on a regular basis, you sick bastards.
3. Got a very rare strain of the Avian Bird Flu, which made me think I was an actual bird, which leads me to point 4.
4. Tried to "fly" off the roof at a local Burger King. Apparently I got on the roof to protect my eggs and when local authorities tried to talk me down I was reported to saw, "Caaawww, Caaaaawwwwww, CAAAAWWAWAW, Caaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww, CCCAAAWWW, CCCAAAWWW!!!" right before jumping off the roof because of afore mentioned incident.
5. Broke my leg and arm and a couple of ribs.
6. Had my car stolen.
7. Had my home broken into.
8. Got struck by lightning.
9. Wilson forced me to watch a Real World/Road Rules Gauntlet Challenge gunpoint. Wilson gets so pissy if it doesn't get it's eight hours.
10. Had to sit next to Howie Mandell on Marta (Atlanta's public transportation system) for TWO stops. Almost killed myself.
11. Got two restraining orders. First, I can't come within a thousand feet of Natalie Portman, second, I can't come within twenty-five feet of Zach Braff.
12. Spilled a soda on my pants after I just got them back from the dry-cleaners. I fucking hate when that happens...

But you know what guys? None of that other stuff really matters, b/c I now have The Shins and an inanimate volleyball who totally "gets me".

Saturday, February 18, 2006

iTunes playlist (6): My Bloody Valentine

A bit late this week, but better late than never. This would have been nicely themed if I would have done it Tuesday. "When You Sleep" (m4a). They actually killed themselves after this picture was taken.

I usually don't like

when I'm reading a book and the author has a character say something like, "You know Jimmy, there are two types of people in the world...". I will list the two reasons I don't like this. Reason 1 is because it's a lazy literary device used by the author so they can later in the book refer to as another character as either one of the two types of people. Way too much telling, not enough showing...and for those of us who have ever taken a intro to fiction class know, that is a bad thing. Reason 2, because statements like that, meaning two categories for people, are total bullshit. You can't group people into a broad category because we all have unique characteristics, like snowflakes if you will (did you guys notice how I just used a tired cliche to convey info? anyway, moving on).

I've always thought Reason 2 was rock solid. I realized today the error of my ways. I was buying my mom a belt for her birthday today, I was at the food court at Lennox mall when it hit me...there are in fact two types of people walking around, I've been wrong all of these years! On to the two types of people...

Type #1: People who actually think Nicholas Cage can act.

Type #2: People who even when thinking momentarily about Nicholas Cage's acting skills throw up a little bit in their own mouths.

I would personally fall into category #2. Sure, Nic Cage was good in Raising Arizona but guess what (also, I bring this point up only to cut off the commenter who says, "Whatever dude, he was good in Raising Arizona), that movie is like 20 fucking years old and that's his only good one, end of story. So, what type of person are you?

Corporate Job post (the first post of many today, but the only one about my job)

I started work three weeks ago for a large corporation. Some people like to refer to it as the "Big Blue" (I'm very paranoid so I won't name it by name, but that information should pretty much sum things up, I really don't want to get dueced). I am in training right now (I will be for about 9 more weeks) and extremely happy with my decision. I will be in sales, not sure of the position at this moment in time. For those who don't know me all that well, I went to back to film school for the past three years and now my career will center around technology and business innovation. As you all can see these two career paths are very divergent, but I'm not spring chicken and I really want to start a stable career and this opportunity was too good for me to pass up at this point in time of my life. I am very happy with the decision I made. As for the film stuff, my favorite thing to do was write screenplays anyway, so I can still continue to do that on the side. Everyone cool with the corporate job post? Well if not, too bad b/c this is the first and last time work will ever be mentioned of this blog. If you'd like to further discuss any goals and aspirations I have please contact me by e-mail and I'll be happy to get back to you, but no more on this blog.

Friday, February 10, 2006


I just found out today that I'll be missing my 10 year hs reunion b/c it's the same weekend as bonnaroo. I was looking forward to the reunion, I wanted to see who has gotten fat, who has a fat wife, any possible late bloomer single horny chicks, etc. The ultimate decision is really easy though, it's bonnaroo in a landslide, this may be the last year (I haven't been before, and live only about three or so hours away) and I'm going in an RV so as not to intermingle with too many dirty hippies...oh yeah, also radiohead is the headliner...fucking awesome, they are phenomenal live. Cool, also, sorry this blog kinda sucks now, real busy.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

iTunes playlist (5): Interpol

Public Pervert remix (mp3). These fuckers look extra pale in this pic.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

iTunes playlist (4): Beck

I was going to go in alphabetical order (artist wise) for this, but I just threw that out the window. Don't fret though, Beck is still close to the front of the alphabet. "Hollywood Freaks"
(mp3) right there on that link. Click it.


Change the header time. I didn't forget. It's exactly how I feel every fucking time I open a fucking cd (yes, I still buy cd's). Genius stuff.

editor's note: Don't bother to leave the comment..."well then you shouldn't buy cd's asshole", I still enjoy buying cd's, I have an unlimited budget of sorts to support this almost outdated habit. This editor's note doesn't matter b/c I know I'll still get that comment.