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Thoughts occuring to me at Moe's

Why wasn't I welcomed to Moe's? I know it's an annoying arbitrary yet mandatory greeting that is supposed to make patrons feel more at home (I guess?)...but, do I like have to leave now? How does this work?

The Moe's menu is a bit confusing. I see multiple menu references to the popular sitcoms "Friends" and "Seinfeld" but I also see some a Monica Lewinsky reference thrown in? My first question is why aren't there any other Thursday night NBC must see TV themed burritos or nachos or what have you? Are the "Seinfeld" and "Friends" menu choices based solely on ratings? If so why no "Family Ties" or "Cheers" or "Cosby Show", I would eat the fuck out of a Cliff Huxtable quesadilla (Cliff quesadilla, it almost rhymes). I wonder if NBC could pull off a successful lawsuit against Moe's?

Monica Lewinsky? Why jump from NBC must see TV to famous presidential adulteresses? I definitely want some Marilyn Monroe Nachos (totally rhymes). I then think to myself what if Must See TV and presidential adultery never existed? Would there even be a Moe's??? If not, presumabley then the world cease to exist, it would implode on the spot.

I wonder how old the girl four places in front of me is? Ogelthorpe University is very close. Stop thinking about this (17-19).

The last three people have been welcomed to Moe's, I seem to be the only one who hasn't been welcomed. Does this mean that when I get ready to place my order that some type of security detail consisting of a guy dressed in a large fake burrito costume with a huge Mariachi hat on and a chick who resembles Monica Lewinsky will usher me out of the establishment burrito-less?

Disaster averted. I really would like more than eight chips. It would be nice also if the chips were all of the same color. I don't understand red and purple chips. Stop thinking about this. Immediately.

Moe's hot sauce is famous. I am informed this when I am pouring some into a plastic ramican. When I think of things that are famous my mind doesn't usually drift towards Moe's hot sauce, I tend to linger on oh, I don't know, let's say Paris Hilton or something. Maybe like the secret formula for Coca-Cola is famous, but Moe's hot sauce?

Moe's also seems to know a bunch of shit. I wonder if Bo Jackson or the Nike corporation could pull off a successful lawsuit against Moe's?

There are two empty tables where people have left their trash scattered all over the place and haven't picked it up. This is, frankly, unacceptable behavior.

I'm leaving. Next to Moe's is an Original House of Pancakes. Why do all pancake themed chain establishments make themselves so easily accesable to ridicule based upon their names? (IHOP has obviously been covered by many a stand-up) It is physically impossible for the Original House of Pancakes next to Moe's to be the original Original House of Pancakes...well I guess it could be, but then it's the only one, making the rest of the Original House of Pancakes poorly named. This is, frankly, unacceptable.

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