same as it ever was (talking heads)

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Another Blog I want to seeeeeeee....

1. Where exactly is the collective value add from the worldly population of squirrels, seriously, you dudes really need to bring something to the table or I'm going to start trying to run you motherfuckers over in my car.blogspot.com: Centered around the uselessness of squirrels. A typical post may look a little something like this..."Suprise, fucking suprise! On my way from work today I had to stop my car in the middle of the street for ten minutes because there was a squirrel dancing around in the middle of the street. This squirrel just looked like it ingested some serious hydrochloride methamphetamine, and because I didn't run him over I missed the first ten minutes of the O.C.! Son of a bitch! I bet Brandon got in fight and Marissa wasn't able to act well! Go eat a fucking acorn and stay out of the street asshole! That's it, fuck it, I'm buying a BB gun, not that pussy red rider daisey shit either, but a quadruple pump high powered air rifle that could easily be mistaken for an AK-47! I'm taking back the streets! A quick side note, I really hope the gang from the OC can all go to college near each other next year. I'm crossing my fingers and saying a nightly prayer. Amen.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

On Dansing

I like to try and bust a move or two (or many as I'll explain) when I've had a couple of drinks in me. Luckily I do have some rhythm so I don't look too stupid, unfortunatley this isn't the case for the majority of people, I'm thinking 80% or so here (can't fucking danse).

So since most people can't dance they resort to immediately trying to grind. Now I'm not advocating against grinding but if it's all you got that's a massive problem. Guys are obviously more guilty of this than are chicks, but some chicks who can't dance (girls can dance better than guys, a simple fact) also fall into the immediate grind which is actually a turn-off to me. I have a highly routined dance pattern that I strictly follow before actually engaging in any type of grinding, if and only if (unless she's bonkers hot) she can keep up then do I segue into grinding. Here's my strict dance floor routine always followed in this order.

Mick Jagger pout/strut/chicken walk, Michael Jackson zombies in "Thriller" video routine, the "Elaine" dance via "Seinfeld", The Conan O'Brien puppet dance, more Mick Jagger finger shake and lip pout, back to the Conan O'Brien puppet dance cut the string this time, Madonna "Like a Virgin" crawling on the danse floor, The Fred "ReRun" Berry, The "Rog", Jazz Hands, Robot, worm, MC Hammer, the little white girl in that Missy Elliott video who can danse danse, I next run the gammot of the Peanuts characters including, kid walking with arms straight out in front of him, kid shuffling feet and bobbing his head side to side, The "Snoopy", etc. I go through all of them, more Mick Jagger, The Flavor Flave, The Humpty Danse, The Macaraina, The Electric Slide, The John Travolta "Pulp Fiction" danse, The John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" routine, the Ted Striker in "Airplane" mock-Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever" danse (no fucking arms on the floor kick too), River danse, the Kevin Bacon in "Footloose", The Monster Mash, The Mashpotato, The Swim, The Club MTV (the version with "Downtown" July Brown not Eric Neis), Jagger, the Carmen Electra (or any stripper/chick who when to, I don't know let's say...FSU) booty shake, moshpiting, "Boogie Nights", the Jimmy Fallon/skinny chick who dated Jack and was in "Twin Peaks" Pepsi commerical, The Michael Jackson crotch grab and yell which equates into glass shattering, head spin, the member of any rapper's it truly doesn't matter which one's entourage danse which consists of lazily bobbing side to side pouring Cristol on people, the Bono (drop to knees and pretend I'm being crusified), robot, jazz hands, hammer, robot, jazz hands, hammer, hammer, hammer, robot, end with Mick...

then i g r i n d...........................................

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

iTunes playlist (11): The New Pornographers

"Execution Day" m4a. Dig it.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Fake myspace profile (2)

Leland "Bubba" Powell

Male
27 years old
Athens, Georgia

"Bubba's" last blog entry: Thursday night's band party___Man was there ever some sweet pussy at the David Allen Coe concert here at Sigma Alpha Epsilon the other night. I got to fucking drunk to hook up though, my frat bro's told me I fucking yelled out Free Bird then vomited all over this Kappa Kappa Gamma then I passed out in my vomit. Serves that stupid bitch right for standing so close to me when I yell out Free Bird. That's just Bubba being Bubba, it is what it is.

About me: I'm Leland Powell but my frat bro's and people in the know here at the University of Georgia call me Bubba. I'm just a good ole, fun lovin country boy from Buckhead Georgia. I'm in the best frat on campus here at UGA, we get so much pussy you wouldn't even believe me if I told you how much pussy we get, that's how much pussy we get. We get so fucked up every night, it's just fucking sick man, you fucking would call me a liar if I told you how much I could drink, that's just how fuckin ole country boy Bubba does it man. I once got so drunk I tried to fuck my extended cab Ford F-150 with the Yosemite Sam mud flaps, I got them mud flaps for muddin, I love me some muddin...muddin, pussy, and gettin fucked up. That's ole Bubba for ya'll in a nutshell.

Who I'd like to meet: George Dubbya fucking Bush!!! Fuck yeah, fuck all them communists and terrorists and all people not Protestant and white. Fuck em, me and Dubbya could fuckin kick all their asses our selves. Larry the Cable guy, man ya'll see that movie of his just came out not too long ago? Fuck man, that shit was hilarious, that time when Larry farted, shit that was funny, when he was picking his nose, fuckin funny, when he was talkin to that girl with them big ole titties, boy that was fuckin funny to. Me and Larry man, if we ever hung out together, fuckin forget about it man, we'd probably polish off a handle of Beam a piece stroll over to Theta and fuck all them girls in that house.

Bubba's interests: muddin, pussy, gettin fucked up, ryphenol, cocaine, jim beam, wild turkey, huntin, the fuckin UGA Bulldawgs...GO DAWGS SIC EM, fucking woof woof woof woof motherfuckers, Ford F-150's, tree stands, camoflauge hats, crookies, makin racial slurs, gettin FUCKED UP, fightin in bars, pukin in bars, gettin some PUSSY!

Music: David Allen Coe, Toby Keith! that's one hard mother fucker right there, me and Toby would kick the fuck out of you pussy's, anything fuckin country man, like I mentioned I'm just a good ole country boy from Buckhead.

Movies: Shit man I like me some funny movies, I don't want to be seein none of that weird pussy artsy shit, give me Larry the cable guy over that gay shit any day. Birth of a Nation.

Television: I got me a sweet ass plasma screen TV that paw got me for my birthday (his company's recent merger was a big ole hit, I think the stock is about to split, don't tell em you heard it here though) I like to watch fuckin FOOTBALL man, that's about fuckin it man, I especially love that Fox NFL game day show with my boys Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Jimmy Johnson and that colored fellow, man are those boys funny.

Books: Like I fuckin read, readin is for fuckin pussies. I'm always too fucked up to fuckin read. Like I'm goin to stay in and read when I could go to the Alpha Delta Pi social in Savannah and fuck some stupid sorostitute.

Hero's: W, Toby Keith, Larry the Cable Guy, my frat bros, that's about it, eveyone else can fuck themselves.

Bubba's school's:

College: University of Georgia; Athens, Georgia; current student; years attended 1997-present; undergraduate

High School: Lovett Academy; Atlanta, Georgia; 1993-1997

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Dooooods

There was a like pencil next to my comments section last night. Did anyone else see this on their blogs? I'm not hallucinating, I distinctly remember seeing this. Someone back me up here. Anyway, saw Neko Case last night, phenominal voice. It got me to thinking about art and shit too, sooooo all-in-all a very well spent 25 bones. I don't really want to wax bullshit philosophical (but unfortunately I think I'm about to) but the show was actually kind of inspirational to a point. It really got me thinking about creating art in general whether it be film, music, writing, (dare I say blogging?) etc. I really think people create art to get recognized for it, and that's ok, nothing wrong with that, we live in a capitalist society (thank god). I just think (for me at least) the stronger allure of dicking around on this blog or writing a screenplay or what have you, is to please myself (lshismp, i luv to pls myslf ;) No bullshit, my fucking rambling point is everyone should be more selfish, for serious, in art and life in general. This is the last time, you'll see a post like this here, because I don't normally like getting into territory like this, but I just thought for some reason today I should say this.

editor's note: "I'm not crazy" quote from chick in Scary Movie who runs away with her hands over her head

editor's note (2): Tom Cruise is gay

Friday, April 14, 2006

I don't care

what anyone says...I like the pencil, it adds some much needed color, and unncesarriyness to the whole bloggerspotdom.

editor's note: Fuck the haters blogger, pencils are sooooooo IN

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

They (Ween) didn't play this

"Pandy Fackler", my favorite song by them. They did however play many other crowd pleasers like "Pissin up a Rope", "Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)", "The HIV Song" and many more. I can now officially reserve that spot in Hell.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Family Guy Flashbacks

Family Guy is a hilarous show. I don't know if anyone saw this week's episode of South Park (an equally brilliant show) but they totally ripped on the Family Guy. Matt and Trey (we all summer together...the Hamptons) are entitled to their own opinion but I just happen to disagree with them. One of the things that they ripped on was the fact of the constant use of flashback in Family Guy. I must admit, that I at first found this to be a bit annoying as well, but the overiding humor factor finally won me over. It won me over so much that I actually came up with my own flashback sequence. Seth (drinking buddies) if you're reading this feel free to use it anytime.

Peter Griffin: That reminds me of the time when we watched those "Top Gun" outtakes...flashback

Tom Skeritt: I don't want to sit here and blow sunshine up your ass
Tom Cruise: Do what? No, go ahead man that sounds cool. I'm really ok with you blowing sunshine up my ass.
Tony Scott (director): Cut, cut! Tom, come on man can we just get through this?
Tom Cruise: I know it's only part of the script, but I just think it's a good idea. I mean I wouldn't really mind at all. In fact I really think I might enjoy it.
Tom Skeritt: I going to my fucking trailor Tony!
Tom Cruise: Wait, Tom. You don't necessarily have to do it. Unless you want to. Do you want to?
Mimi Rodgers (Tom Cruise's wife/possible ex-wife around the time of Top Gun filming): I told you guys. Dude is gay.
Tom Cruise: What? Me? Whatever, I'm outta here. I'm headed over to Richard Gere's place.

editor's note: Tom Cruise is gay. Family Guy is funny.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

8th and Ocean

MTV corporate offices...Location: Hell

Satan: See, here's what I want, give me a Laguna Beach type show, but I really want to dumb it down. Is this at all possible?

Executive #1: Consider it done.

editor's note: 8th and Ocean is so wrong it's right.

Monday, April 03, 2006

iTunes playlist (10): The Sea and Cake

I would recommend downloading "sporting life" (mp3) from the sea and cake. This song is the shit. March Madness comes to a screeching halt tonight, damn did my picks suck this year. Hopefully tonight's game will be better than the Saturday games. My inclination would be to pick Florida (-1), so if you read this bet the fucking house on UCLA.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

APRIL: Ween, Charlie Sheen and Neko Case

Hi all. It's April, and you guys should know what that means by now, change the headline. That quote from Chuck Sheen is the comic highlight of "Being John Malkovich", a spectacular film in its own right. I'm going to see WEEN on April 10th and I'm pumped. I've never got the chance to see them live, but I've heard they are amazing. Neko Case follows that up on April 14th, her new album is stellar and I've also heard much good about her live show. Anyway, read the headline...and...laugh.

Drunk Blog

It's fucking April. I thought of thinking up some elaborate joke (April foolssytle) but I really din't have it in me, disappointig...anyhow if I had come up with some bullshit it would have been consistent with the whole program I try to run hear (lshimsp...). Anyway the main reason I wanted to blog was b/c of the album cover of "Rubber Soul" I won't tell you guys why but check it out for yourselves. When I look at it I reaize the John Lennnnnnnnnooooonnnnn is the most important figure of the last 100 or soooooo years, and he always knew it...