same as it ever was (talking heads)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

On Dansing

I like to try and bust a move or two (or many as I'll explain) when I've had a couple of drinks in me. Luckily I do have some rhythm so I don't look too stupid, unfortunatley this isn't the case for the majority of people, I'm thinking 80% or so here (can't fucking danse).

So since most people can't dance they resort to immediately trying to grind. Now I'm not advocating against grinding but if it's all you got that's a massive problem. Guys are obviously more guilty of this than are chicks, but some chicks who can't dance (girls can dance better than guys, a simple fact) also fall into the immediate grind which is actually a turn-off to me. I have a highly routined dance pattern that I strictly follow before actually engaging in any type of grinding, if and only if (unless she's bonkers hot) she can keep up then do I segue into grinding. Here's my strict dance floor routine always followed in this order.

Mick Jagger pout/strut/chicken walk, Michael Jackson zombies in "Thriller" video routine, the "Elaine" dance via "Seinfeld", The Conan O'Brien puppet dance, more Mick Jagger finger shake and lip pout, back to the Conan O'Brien puppet dance cut the string this time, Madonna "Like a Virgin" crawling on the danse floor, The Fred "ReRun" Berry, The "Rog", Jazz Hands, Robot, worm, MC Hammer, the little white girl in that Missy Elliott video who can danse danse, I next run the gammot of the Peanuts characters including, kid walking with arms straight out in front of him, kid shuffling feet and bobbing his head side to side, The "Snoopy", etc. I go through all of them, more Mick Jagger, The Flavor Flave, The Humpty Danse, The Macaraina, The Electric Slide, The John Travolta "Pulp Fiction" danse, The John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" routine, the Ted Striker in "Airplane" mock-Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever" danse (no fucking arms on the floor kick too), River danse, the Kevin Bacon in "Footloose", The Monster Mash, The Mashpotato, The Swim, The Club MTV (the version with "Downtown" July Brown not Eric Neis), Jagger, the Carmen Electra (or any stripper/chick who when to, I don't know let's say...FSU) booty shake, moshpiting, "Boogie Nights", the Jimmy Fallon/skinny chick who dated Jack and was in "Twin Peaks" Pepsi commerical, The Michael Jackson crotch grab and yell which equates into glass shattering, head spin, the member of any rapper's it truly doesn't matter which one's entourage danse which consists of lazily bobbing side to side pouring Cristol on people, the Bono (drop to knees and pretend I'm being crusified), robot, jazz hands, hammer, robot, jazz hands, hammer, hammer, hammer, robot, end with Mick...

then i g r i n d...........................................

16 Comments:

Anonymous mjp said...

This is a masterpiece Sanders

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 11:31:00 PM

 
Anonymous York said...

Really funny, but I'm pretty sure it's spelled dance. Keep it comin'!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 11:37:00 PM

 
Blogger chiggers said...

will you do the "elaine" danse for me?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 11:46:00 PM

 
Blogger Brent said...

If you're looking for FSU stippers, look no further than here:
http://americasbestonline.net/cheerleaderFSU.htm

and here:
http://www.maximonline.com/girls_of_maxim/pictures_and_bio/1177/FSUCowgirls.girl

It's a classy place.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 8:33:00 AM

 
Anonymous bones said...

Damn dude, that's one helluva dance... And thanks for qualifying that you're doing the Club MTV dance with Julie Brown and not Eric Nies. That was an important distinction to make...

Thursday, April 20, 2006 8:41:00 AM

 
Anonymous pops said...

just to clarify I that Eric Nies was host of "The Grind" on MTv. I could be wrong, it has happened before.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 9:38:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you know that, you should go "dansing" with Sanders.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 11:42:00 PM

 
Anonymous pops said...

I would, but I don't think Sanders can hang on the same dance floor as me....i got moves bitch!

Friday, April 21, 2006 10:02:00 AM

 
Blogger Will said...

Where's the video?

Friday, April 21, 2006 1:36:00 PM

 
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Friday, April 21, 2006 7:45:00 PM

 
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Saturday, April 22, 2006 11:15:00 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

The Elaine Dancing episode was just on the other day. Creepy.

It's all about her thumbs up.

Monday, April 24, 2006 2:16:00 AM

 
Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

don't forget the "dirty dog"

Monday, April 24, 2006 3:28:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

awesome reference to the peanuts characters some of the best moves i've ever seen on the christmas special

Tuesday, April 25, 2006 3:55:00 PM

 
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Friday, April 28, 2006 6:47:00 PM

 
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