same as it ever was (talking heads)

Saturday, May 27, 2006

"Crash" a review of sorts, not really, I guess

I'm not so much into really reviewing movies or anything, so I'm not going to really do that here (I guess) but I did see "Crash" last weekend. It was good, not great, merely good, I thought. It was a good well rounded out cast (kind of sort of). See you got Don Cheadle (always solid, best performance in this movie in my opinion) Matt Dillon (nominated for an academy award for this film, a good performance, not as good as Cheadle's though) Ryan Phillipe (in my estimation an under-rated actor actually, plays a solid role) Terrance Howard (a fine new talent, good in everything I've seen him in) Thandie Newton (smoking, plays a formuleic angry black woman role, does well with it) Larenz Tate (awsome in "Menace 2 Society" holds his own) Jennifer Esposito? (she was great in that Michael J. Fox TV sitcom, just kidding, at least we get to see her boobs) Ludicrous?? (continuing to prove that rappers can't act) Brendan Fraiser??? (dude's why is "Encino Man" in this movie, maybe Paully Shore was busy) and finally SANDRA BULLOCK????????????

(scene in "Fight Club" where Ed Norton passes out on the hotel bed and can't really remember what was doing as Tyler Durden)

Fuck Sandra Bullock. She is terrible, always, without exception. She is the Nicholas Cage of actresses. No he didn't...YES I just went there, she's as bad an actress as Nic Cage. Name one movie that she's good in? See you can't do it. You know why? b/c it's fucking impossible. At one point in the movie she falls down the stairs and gets hurt, this was the actual highlight of the film for me. I was really hoping that her stunt double had the flu and missed work that day. Sadly her and her character were Ok at the end of the movie. I could have been more believalbe as a rich racist middle aged house wife than she was, unbelievable how some people still get work after shit like "Speed 2" and "Miss Congeniality" (now I've never seen these movies but there is no way she was good in them, refer to 4-5 sentences previous) or "Miss Congeniality 2" yeah, they made a fucking sequel to "Miss Congeniality".Things like "Miss Congeniality 2" make me hope that that massive earthquake will actually hit and drop L.A. into the pacific (not really, I don't want my west coast readers to die, I just really hate Sandra Bullock and the person who green lit "Miss Congeniality 2")...And FUCK, have you seen the fucking previews for that new fucking Sandra Bullock Keanu Reeves joint? This is true, I can't make shit like this up. Was the public really yearning to see an acting reunion with these two jackasses? My point is, if you pay money to see this new Bullock/Reeves flick I officially hate you.

Did Sandra Bullock ruin "Crash"? Only all of the parts when she was actually in the movie.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Fuck Sandra Bullock. "


Saturday, May 27, 2006 6:15:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ You gotta bone her b/c she's famous.

Saturday, May 27, 2006 6:15:00 PM

Anonymous bones said...

Sandy, Sandy, please give me a handy.

Was that funny?

Sunday, May 28, 2006 12:51:00 PM

Blogger chiggers said...

Sandra Bullock takes it straight up the pooper. I think actually watching "Speed" means you deserve to die. So, I guess I deserve to die.

Hahahaha Bones! You are so funny! Not.

Monday, May 29, 2006 2:26:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For a non film-reviewer I think you nailed the acting pretty well. Plus the Sandra Bullock rant is blogedy delicious.
I think you are right about her, and yet for some reason I want to like her....

Thursday, June 01, 2006 2:09:00 PM

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