same as it ever was (talking heads)

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Please allow me to level set

Ok, here's the situation, my parents went away for a week's vacation, and they left the keys to the brand new Porsche, would they mind, hmmm, well, of course (not)

that was totally unrelated to this post but it was the first thing that popped into my head as started typing, Fresh Prince, you are truly a saint, on to the real "issue"

My buddy, let's call him "Cougar" (because this is the moniker that he deemed himself with about 7 or so years ago, meaning it is very pertinent info. for what I'm about to speak of, like, right now) well anyway "Cougar" always used to call himself "Cougar" and would semi-urge the rest of our group of friends to call him "Cougar", which we of course never would, because a. you can't give yourself a nickname, and b. it's a really fucking stupid name and I'm not going to call another grown human being "Cougar" unless there is solid logic (meaning a good reason) to call someone that...that's all changed.

I was drinking last night, as I tend to do on Fridays, and I was hanging out with a buddy of mine who made the brilliant connection b/wn our friend's attempt to nickname himself "Cougar" and the new hip urban slang "Cougar" for a woman mid-30's or older who is on the "prowl" (meaning wanting to, like, fuck) men of a certain younger age or demographic than that of theirselves.

Sooooo, we had an e-mail strain running this week with comments like...

"Hey "Cougar" before going out do you put glitter on your chest so 22 year old dudes will be hopefully notice and therefore be more attracted to you, so you can then lure them back to your den for acts of sexual deviance?"

Here's what is going to happen from now on (at least from my perspective and, like, actively on my part) I'm going to call "Cougar" "Cougar" and when someone asks me why I'm calling "Cougar" "Cougar" my standard response will run along the lines of something like this...

"Oh, his nickname is "Cougar". I don't know if you've ever heard of the new, well not really so new, but relatively new slang term "Cougar" which encompasses women of a certain age demographic 35+ or so out for a night on the town looking to kick it with some younger, how do I politely put this, dick. Yeah, well anyway, my buddy here "Cougar" is kinda like those chicks, he really like Asian males ages 19-25 years old."

Now this statement is of course untrue. The actual "Cougar" is a heterosexual dude who like, like's chicks, but it's really hard for me to relate to you guys the constant reminder that we got when talking to our buddy "Cougar" that we should call him "Cougar" which we never did, until now.

editor's note: Thanks Perret for bringing this to everyone's attention


Anonymous P$ said...

I cant take full credit sandman. It was Sales who brought our "oversight" into plain view...I merely picked up the baton and ran with like the wind we will!

Cougar, how was your night last night. Did some confused young asain male find his way to your den where you wooed him with your incense and man thongs?

Saturday, May 13, 2006 11:41:00 AM

Blogger Brent said...

Sales deserves an award for this one.

Saturday, May 13, 2006 11:48:00 AM

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