same as it ever was (talking heads)

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Allow myself to whore myself

July 9th, it's the CGP birthday or anniversary or what have you. I've made you guys laugh? Right? No? Whatever, I still want some fucking presents. Here's my list...

1. A My little Pony, it's gotta be pink though.
2. A coinstar machine at the pad here in the ATL. I have a problem with change, I don't know if I love it or hate. I always have so much and I can't get rid of it and it pisses me off, but maybe I love it, maybe that's why I have so much? Who the fuck knows, I just know I needs me a coinstar machine.
3. A copy of "How to pick up trashy women" the book that John Cusak's little brother was reading in "Better Off Dead".
4. A turban like Dre 3K had circa ATLiens, I think I'm going to start pimping a turban around...a turban.
5. A European vacation...and Chevy Chase as accompianment on said Vacation.
6. Chevy Chase to start using coke again before we set off to Europe. So he'd be funny again.
7. Dan Brown's soul.
8. One of those talking and driving cars like Kit from "Knight Rider", but it can't have one of those gay English boarding school accents, I want it to sound like Steven A. Smith.
9. An entry into the 2006 WSOP main event.
10. Sex with Michelle Phiefer...and her sister (totally hot, trust me).
11. A voodoo doll of the person who greenlit "Operation Dumbo Drop" so I can jab it with pins on a secondly basis.
12. To have Jeff Bridges reprise his role as "The Dude" from Lebowski so he can come over and hang out, we'll drink White Russians and smoke some bulls (intentional word mis-usage).
13. A shopping cart, from Kroger not Publix.
14. One of those lightning bolt scares on my forehead like Harry Potter has. A make-out session with Hermoine (she's of age right? if not disregard that statement).
15. Outkast, Radiohead, Wilco, and especially Interpol to all release new albums on the 9th.
16. Some popsicle art, very hip and huge in Moscow from what I hear.
17. Lindsay Lohan to show me her tits and then say, "I'm stopping making movies, I publicly apologize officially right now. One more thing Aaron Carter is a pussy. HEY! I didn't say you could touch them!"
18. A pet turtle, I'll fucking take it everywhere with me like those Hollywood chicks do with their stupid little dogs. I'll put it in my pocket, when it gets too big to fit in my pocket I'll throw it away and someone can buy me a new one.
19. #20 to be really funny.
20.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Robbo said...

Seems like reasonable requests. Someone get the man a turtle..it's his birthday for God's sake!

Monday, July 03, 2006 6:19:00 PM

 
Anonymous Max said...

Happy B day man

Monday, July 03, 2006 10:09:00 PM

 
Blogger chiggers said...

i am very pleased to hear of your interest in having a shopping cart. i used to like them so much i had a link on my website that had pictures of awesome shopping carts.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 12:47:00 PM

 
Anonymous bones said...

I'm assuming that you had meant to add "21. A picture of a naked man smoking a pipe." So I sent you a picture. I hope it's what you had in mind. Happy birthday to cultgoespop.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 4:37:00 PM

 
Blogger Captain Bee said...

"6. Chevy Chase to start using coke again before we set off to Europe. So he'd be funny again."

^ Hahahahah!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006 9:34:00 AM

 
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Blogger Will said...

I got number 7 for sure ... but I'm going to have to make some phone calls to make number 17 happen.

Thursday, July 06, 2006 1:25:00 PM

 
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