same as it ever was (talking heads)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A Don Hughes/Johnny Ballon movie pitch (#8)

A Feld-dog and Haimster buddy of yet untitled

JB: Back from the dead
DH: With commerce on our mind, commerce is another name for us, or movies that we fucking make, movie-movies if you so must call them. Also now called commerce.
JB: Course sweethearts, look up commerce in the OED, picture of me and Don, it was only a matter of time.
DH: Yeah, not much of a suprise, knew it would happen. A bit suprising it happened while we were on hiatus though, no matter I'm sure everyone is dying to hear what we did while of vacation.
JB: Oh yeah, good times had by all. It's great to get out of L.A. for a bit, the vampire set can get a tad repetive after awhile. I personally packed my shit up and moved to Nam, Vietnam. After playing the russian roulet circuit, I moved down the river a bit and set up a well...I guess some people might call it a cult, but I liked to refer to it as "Johnny's People". Fucking fantastic times, you wouldn't believe how many sycophants actually transplanted from right here in Hollywood to join me. Fucking actors, anything to get a bit part in one of next blockbusters. Mix them in with some natives and you have a lethal combination of desperation, hunger, malaria, cannibalism, and crucifixtion to please anyone for a 3 month period. Sure I put on a couple hundred pounds and made everyone call me Colonel Johnny Kurtz but I'm doing yoga, pilates, circuit training, ultimate fighting, triathalon work, acupuncture, trepanation, push-ups, and am eating only South Beach diet themed microwavable food to back in tip top shape. People often ask me since I've been back, "colonel Johnny do you miss drinking the virgin blood?" I have a standard response..."What the fuck dumb-ass, do you think that's really V-8 in my fridge?" Anyhow, everyone needs a nice vacation.
DH: Couldn't have said it better myself. I played much more close to the vest during my time off. I stayed here and went all Howard Hughes, I still have yet to cut my finger and toe nails, and seriously doubt I ever will though, the pussy loves it, or maybe they don't, I could actually care less. Onto magic time...

editor's note: to be continued, also a side-note DH and JB posts are usually done in green the color of money...not anymore, now they are in red, Don and Johnny have so much cash from their previous ventures they are starting to print their own currency, it'll soon rival *at least* the Euro...


Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

Trepanation makes it back into the blogosphere!! It's a great way to shed a few pounds before a show.

Friday, October 20, 2006 2:47:00 PM

Blogger Satisfied '75 said...

sumbody call marty mcfriend! shhee-it..

Sunday, October 22, 2006 5:59:00 AM

Anonymous Breffdawg said...

Dude, the DH and JB posts are the shit!

Friday, October 27, 2006 4:29:00 PM


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