same as it ever was (talking heads)

Monday, December 04, 2006

First Blood Part 2? Let's work on this

This past Friday evening on AMC, I was lucky enough to view one of the greatest cinematic acheivements of the 20th century. Yes, I was lucky enough to catch about the last hour or so of Rambo: First Blood Part 2! I make partial fun of this now, but I bet I watched this movie at least 30 times when I was growing up in the 80's. Rambo is the fucking man, his general disregard to pig feces and leetches, I bet he actually enjoyed being stuck in the all that shit. To the rat killing and electrocution, to the most amazing feat in the history of man kind...the jump out of the river onto the helicopter. Michael Jordan is a lucky man that John Rambo was into being an unsocial ex-Vietnam vet with unintelligible social skills, I don't care if he is only 5'5", Rambo would have shut Jordan down, the river jump onto the helicoptor proves this (if you have no clue what I speak of too bad, fascinating stuff, 10.0 on the rictor scale of unintentional humor). Anyway let me get to my point although this movie still kicks ass (mostly for the wrong reasons now) I was always perplexed by the name, even at a young age. The problem of course is the name First Blood Part 2 doesn't make any sense. Below I'm going to offer up some alternative names for the title of this film.

1. Rambo: Second Blood
2. Rambo: First Blood, Again
3. Rambo: First Blood, well actually, no, not technically First Blood
4. Rambo: First Blood Part 2...wait, we can't name it that. Why? Because it doesn't make any sense. The word First implies that it was the actual initial time an event happened, calling something first and then adding the lame part 2 does nothing to correct that problem, it just makes us look stupid. Well fine then, if you guys name it that I want my executive producer title taken off the movie, no I still want to get paid, I just don't want to associated with that idiotic name. I told you guys hiring Frank Stallone to name this thing was going to be a bad idea.

39 Comments:

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Blogger Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

#3 gets my vote. Hysterical.

In other Stallone movie-title/shitty-decision-making news, the sixth, yes, sixth Rocky isn't called "Rocky." It's "Rocky Balboa." Like we haven't gotten that by now. They might as well have called it "Rocky the Italian Stallion Balboa Adrienne Pussy Son Drunk Manager Sweet Trainer, Wishes He Had Man Relationship With Apollo Creed and That the Cold War Was Still Going On." But that's just me. And this is turning into a blog post, and this isn't my blog. So let's not even talk about why a 60-year-old man is boxing someone named Mason Dixon.

Nice return to the blogosphere. Quite of few of us have been neglecting it as of late.

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